How do I tell my friend that I think they have an addiction?
“My friend drinks and uses drugs sometimes on nights out. But lately it’s been happening a lot. They’re using drugs during the week now too, not just on nights out. I’m worried about them, but I don’t know how to talk to them about it.”
At uni, you can expect an element of drink and drug culture here and there. But when a friend is using multiple times a week, and not always on nights out, it’s understandable that worries bubble up.
So, how do you talk to your friend? Here are three top tips:
1. Check yourself
Drug and alcohol use, especially when used in an addictive way, can be a sign of something else going on. It could be to manage boredom or stress, but it might be to manage some trauma. This could come up when you talk to your friend, so it’s important to check in with yourself before and after the chat. Do what you need to relax, and speak to someone if you need to.
2. Soft approach
When bringing the topic up with your friend, try to avoid sounding judgmental or demanding as it will only build their wall up higher. Instead, opt for a soft approach: “Hey, I’ve noticed you’re using drugs a bit more, I just want to check in and see if everything is ok?” Give your friend your full attention, let them speak, listen to them and take what they say on board.
3. Double check but don’t double down
Your friend might not recognise that they have a problem. They might tell you everything is fine, and you shouldn’t worry. If you’re still not sure, it’s ok to double check. Asking twice reassures them that you’re listening, but don’t push too much as they might not feel comfortable talking about it. Give them space and time to think but reassure them you’re there for them. They might come back wanting to talk or to look for support from a professional.
If you’re still worried or want to know who to signpost your friend to, come along to our Forward Leeds drop-in sessions to chat with an expert.
For more drug and alcohol harm reduction advice, specialist support on campus and in Leeds, and the University policy, visit the drugs and alcohol web page.
