How do I show up for a friend at work?
‘Recently I’ve noticed that someone I work with has been behaving inappropriately to my work friend. They’re more senior than me so I don’t feel like I can call them out. I’ve tried to talk to my friend about it, but they don’t want to cause a fuss. It makes everyone uncomfortable, but no one feels that they can say anything. How can I show up for my friend?’
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It’s great that you are there to support your friend and have tried to ask them about this, as it can be a difficult conversation to approach. Showing up for your friend is even just reassuring them that they aren’t on their own and they can speak to you. You could re-visit the conversation when you’re both comfortable to see if they would like to speak to an advisor in a confidential safe space, such as the University’s Harassment and Misconduct team.
There is no pressure to make a formal report, but the Harassment and Misconduct team can make sure your friend knows all the options in order to make an informed choice. You can visit the Harassment and Misconduct team’s web page to find out more about the team and explore support options, or you can email the team directly at reportandsupport@leeds.ac.uk.
You also shouldn’t have to witness inappropriate behaviour in the workplace either. As this person is more senior than you, then the responsibility to call them out isn’t solely on you, because of the uneven power balance. You could speak to your manager or another senior member of staff about this, or see if there is a disclosure process — there may be ways you can do this anonymously. There will be processes in place for HR or senior management to follow, and they have a duty of care to make it a safe place for everyone to work in.
You are not alone. If you’ve experienced any kind of violence, abuse, bullying, harassment, sexual misconduct or discrimination, we’re here to help. Explore support options in our community, including specialist support offered by the Harassment and Misconduct team here at Leeds.
Written by Carys Corkhill, Harassment and Misconduct team
