Grieving at Graduation.

Graduation can be a moment of pride, closure and new beginnings. If you’re navigating grief, however, it might be hard to feel like you can celebrate.

You might have lost someone before your degree, whilst you were studying, or even more recently. When someone important to you isn’t here to witness your achievements, emotions can become mixed-up and hard to untangle. Choosing the right thing to do, or feel, can seem impossible. If that’s where you find yourself, you’re not alone.

Here are three small reminders to help you on your graduation day.

1. Give yourself space and time.

You don’t need to feel a certain way to ‘do graduation right’, each feeling is part of this moment. Whether you’re missing a family member, sibling, colleague, or housemate, give yourself time and space to get through the day.

It can be easy to get frustrated with yourself if you feel your missing out on big occasions because of your emotions, grief makes everything harder. Consider breaking the day down into smaller timeslots, or take the day hour-by-hour. Plan in some time to take a quiet walk around campus, or find a place away from the crowds to decompress. We recommend St George’s Field or Chancellors Court, next to the Roger Steven’s Building.

Many of us bottle up our grief and distract ourselves when we feel emotions bubbling up. It’s normal to sometimes feel numb, or want distractions, but feeling your feelings is a really important part of processing grief. If we don’t, we may end up feeling very heavy, stuck, or experiencing other problems later on. The Student Grief Network.

2. Find your support network

Grief can feel lonely, especially when others seem caught up in celebration. You may need spaces where your loss is acknowledged, without having to explain or justify how you're feeling.

The Student Grief Network offers free workshops, peer-led support groups, and events for students coping with bereavement. Whether you talk, listen or simply show up quietly, these spaces can be a gentle way to reconnect.

It might be helpful to let someone what you’re going through, and think about what support would be helpful. This could be a guest, a coursemate, or even a friend who is just a phone call away. Knowing you have someone in your corner can help you feel grounded and supported. You can share some advice on supporting you through grief, too.

3. Celebrate On Your Own Terms

After a loss, it can be difficult to live up to social expectations as you may have less energy or not be in the mood. You might feel disconnected from your peers and disinterested in the ‘usual’ activities. This can be lonely and frustrating. The Student Grief Network.

You might want to bring the memory of the person you lost with you to your graduation day. You could wear something that reminds you of them, write them a note to keep in your pocket, or dedicate your walk across the stage in their memory. Don’t worry if this feels too much, though. There’s no right or wrong way to remember someone.

When it comes to celebrating your achievements, not everyone wants the big party or photos. If traditional celebrations feel overwhelming, think about what feels meaningful for you. It could be a quiet walk, a dinner with close friends, or time alone to reflect. Give yourself permission to celebrate in a way that feels right to you, whether this is heading out on the town, or a quiet night in with a takeaway.

You’ve carried something incredibly heavy and still reached the finish line. Whatever your day looks like, your achievements are real. Grief doesn’t cancel your success, there’s no time limit on marking your time here with us at Leeds.

Support for students going through grief:

If you’re in crisis and looking for immediate support, you can text SHOUT to 85258 or call Samaritans on 116 123. These services are free, confidential and available anytime.

Let’s Talk About Loss provide support for bereaved adults age 18–35, including in-person social meet ups across the UK.

Untangle Grief is an app where you can meet other grievers, join support groups, and get expert practical advice.

ataLoss.org signposting and information — search specifically on location, type of loss, and type of support you are looking for.