Five things to do when your graduation guests don’t get along.

Your graduation day is about you, your hard work, and celebrating your achievements, however it can be hard to get excited when you’re nervous that your guests might not see eye to eye.

You’re not alone, read our advice on having the graduation day you deserve.

1. Plan your day in advance.

Whatever works for your peace of mind.

Planning things like what time you’re meeting, how you’re arriving, and what to wear ahead of time can prevent those last-minute frustrations on the day and give you a sense of control. Not sure where to start? We’ve got everything you need to know on our website.

If you’re planning a meal or gathering afterwards, consider splitting it into two parts or creating space between guests who may clash. A morning coffee with one group, a celebratory dinner with another, whatever works for your peace of mind. We’ve got the lowdown on all the different ways to celebrate.

2. Think about your guest tickets.

Think about the moment you cross the stage. Who do you want to see in the crowd?

Deciding who joins you in the Great Hall can feel stressful, so here’s a tip: seating for guests is unreserved, which means your guests don’t have to sit next to each other during the ceremony.

You might have had to make hard decisions about who joins you at the ceremony and why, or you might be avoiding thinking about it entirely. Here’s our advice. Think about the moment you cross the stage. Who do you want to see in the crowd? Who will cheer for you and celebrate you? That’s who should be at your ceremony. Whether that’s close family, your friends, or a mix of both.

Remember that all of your guests can watch you graduate, either in-person or via-livestream on campus. The ceremony is just a short part of the day, all of your guests can come to campus and continue celebrating together. You deserve to have people there who support you and help you shine.

3. Communicate and advocate.

Be brave and advocate for your needs and expectations.

Whilst you’re planning the day, it’s also good to start an open dialogue about your graduation expectations with your guests.

A short and calm message to your guests beforehand can do wonders. Let them know what the day means to you, what the schedule looks like, and gently outline your expectations and boundaries for your celebration. Don’t feel like you need to overexplain, just re-affirm that your priority is to enjoy your moment without added stress.

Our advice? Write out exactly what you want to say and choose a quiet moment to talk to your guests. Maybe take them out individually for coffee or go for a walk together. If you don’t feel like you can speak to your guests, you can send what you’ve written in an email or text.

If the situation requires more direct communication, you can speak to each party separately and share what you need from them. A simple “I really want to enjoy this day, it would mean a lot if you could keep things light and respectful” goes a long way.

It can be tempting to hide who is joining you at graduation, especially when you know your party doesn’t get on. However, this rarely ends well. Be upfront about who is coming to your graduation and why. Remind your guests what each person means to you and why you made the decision to invite them.

4. You’re not responsible.

You are here to graduate, not mediate.

You’ve planned your day, you’ve set clear boundaries and expectations, and you’ve communicated these with your guests. Now breathe.

You are here to graduate, not mediate. Your guests are adults are accountable for their own behaviour, and if someone chooses not to rise to the occasion, that’s on them, not you. If the atmosphere feels too intense or you need to re-centre, build in moments throughout the day to step away. Whether it’s a quiet ten minutes, or getting your course mates to take your photos, give yourself space and permission to reset.

And remember, the people who’ve cheered you on throughout your studies! Friends, flatmates, the ones who’ve fuelled your all-nighters with snacks and pep talks, they deserve some of your time, too. Make plans with them that feel light and restorative. Maybe that’s a celebratory sandwich, a post-ceremony walk around Woodhouse Moor, or a night out in your favourite bar. Your energy is precious, spend it where you feel safest, happiest, and most seen.

5. Protect your headspace.

It is easy to picture everything going wrong. Our advice? Whenever you catch yourself imagining the worst possible ways the day can go wrong, try to snap out of it. Tell yourself a story where, actually, everything goes right.

It’s natural to be nervous when your guests don’t get on, but people can surprise you. Whilst they might not end up the best of friends, your guests can and should bury any tension to make sure you have the day. If they’re joining you at graduation, it’s because they’re proud of you, they want to celebrate you.

Your graduation is your day, and you deserve to cross that stage surrounded by love, support, and smiles. With a bit of prep and some gentle boundaries, you’ll keep the spotlight where it belongs, on you.